…a blog on random thoughts and ideas… ^__^

its really hard. i’ve focused myself so much to my work that it was too late to realize that so many things in my life didn’t have anything in some sort of closure. now that i had ample time to clean again, memories came flooding back like a dam burst. it became hard to look back. i just realized how foolish i am to think that everything is alright. *sigh*

i know its not too late. but its kinda scary. u dont even know if the people involved even want closure. *mild chuckle* anyway, have to be man enough to face this. or i’ll probably regret it someday. have to stop being a coward. (i should have made that as a new year’s resolution. lol)

i applied for a job at some local gaming company. i dunno why i feel weird about it. i do need to find a job, its just that… hmm… feels different. well, nwei if something extraordinary happens, im sure to update this blog. ^__^

im just wondering if some of you guys felt as if things are passing you by? because i am wondering just that right now. why? here are some reasons:

1. close relatives passed away

2. friends (my age) getting married and having children

3. siblings growing up and building their own future

then here’s me, stuck in the same old place. its somewhat frustrating. i gotta get outta this loop somehow…

A few years back I posted an incident involving me and a car accident. It was one of those moments I just want to forget. I said to myself that it would never happen again.

Fast forward to this year, I just happened again tonight while I was driving home from my shop. Damn. It was all my fault though. *Sigh* Human error, I would call it. Luckily, the damage is minor. I just hope they won’t overprice the repairs.

My last word? O-M-G!

You dont know how much I need you.
While youre near me I dont feel blue.
And when we kiss I know that you need me too.
I cant believe I found a love thats so pure and true.

But it all was bullshit.
It was a goddam joke.
And when I think of you linda,
I hope you fucking choke.

I hope youre glad with what youve done to me.
I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy.
You left me here all alone, tears running constantly.

Oh somebody kill me please,
Somebody kill me plee-ase,
Im on my knees,
Pretty pretty please kill me.

I want to die.
Put a bullet in my head.

Why is it that what we fear happens more often than what we want? Irony is life’s way of teasing. And its quite unfair.

Why do I disappoint the people I want to support?

Why do I end up with problems I dont fathom?

Why do I get stuck with people who pull me down?

Why do I fail when I work freakin hard?

Why do I hurt the one’s I love?

Why am I so confused?

Why can’t I achieve peace?

So many why’s… the greatest irony of it all is that my life is so complicated for someone who simply wants to get by and enjoy life.

But there’s one thing I can spite life for, no matter how it tries to make it hard for me… my priority is my family. So I shout to all of the things in my life that makes my lfe so goddamn hard… KAYA KO PA! CGE SAKTAN NYO LANG AKO! PAHIRAPAN NYO LANG AKO! KAYA KO YAN! I can turn my back to ANYTHING or ANYONE.

I’ll endure anything if its for my family. Remember that my so-called ‘life’. Pwe!

This would probably be the last post for this Friendster Blog. I’ve been assigned as a blog author to one of the most influential blogs about gaming. Please feel free to visit us at Pinoy Gaming World.

What is Pinoy Gaming World?

Pinoy Gaming World is a blog site in which we aim to deliver useful, relevant, and accurate information about games, online or offline, and the technology that drives them to the Filipino gamer. Composed of a group of IT professionals and gaming enthusiasts alike, our objective is to keep Filipino gamers up to date with the current gaming news about their favorite games and technology. For Pinoys….By Pinoys.

Visit us @ http://pinoygamingworld.blogspot.com

it seems the "survey" craze is not diminishing…eventhough i posted a very strong message against it, nothing happened. so, i decided to immortalize myself on the friendster bulletin and created a "survey" myself just for my amusement. here’s a copy of it…enjoy ^__^

1. have you answered any "survey" in friendster bulletin before?
   – no

2. are you interested in answering any in the future?
   – no

3. are you amused by the "surveys" that your friends are answering?
   – no

4. their answers?
   – definitely no

5. do you care about their answers?
   – no

6. have you read a single useful bulletin since you joined friendster?
   – no

7. do u think there will be any useful bulletin in the future?
   – no

8. do u spam the bulletin with useless information?
   – hell no

9. wont your friends think that you’re an outcast for creating this "survey"?
   – no

10. wont this offend them?
   – i hope no

11. do u think someone will repost this?
   – no

wow…the 2nd branch sure is progressing at a slooooooow pace. 1 month after and its still about half-way through. tsk tsk. nwei, its more of a financial problem than anything else…gotta think of ways to earn more mooolah! ^__^

speakin of moolah…i can’t believe that Virtual-On (VoicE for short) is surviving this summer desert. this summer is waaaay better than last year’s. there are alot of high school students that attends summer classes and quite frankly, its because of them that we’re staying afloat. with a guilty conscience, i rid them of their parents’ money and let them play games all day long….NOT! hehe… ^__^

i had a horrible experience 2 days ago…my car broke down in the middle of EDSA in front of SM Megamall. i was on my way to pick up my sister at QC. my first thought was "oh shit!". sorry for that folks but that really was my first reaction to the situation. i knew i was in big trouble when an MMDA tow truck stopped in front of me. my second thought was this…"oh shit! gastos pa…". i really tried to make the car start up again…but it was a hopeless case…the damned thing wont cut me slack. tsk! to make the story short (and not make me relive the nightmare all over again) i was towed to the impounding area near the Office of the Ombudsman at North EDSA….fined a whopping P1,700.00…forced to walk a few miles for the nearest ATM…walk back…paid with a VERY heavy heart (my hard-earned moolah! shit! shit! shit!)…then called the Wheeler’s club so that me and the car could go home. *sigh* to add insult to injury…a day prior to that, i had the car tuned-up and shelled out P1200.00 for that. *sigh* *sigh* *sigh* well, the whole experience was screaming the word "MALAS". 2 days later the car was fixed (no charge, i made sure of that)…the mechanic told me that the one who tuned-up the car forgot to securely tighten the new condenser thus cutting off the electricity from the engine. bastard.

well…thats that! just an update to the few people that still read my blog. lol. tune in next time for my colorful world. ^______^

Im still awake again…what time is it now? Hmm…woah! Its 4:31am right now. What da…

Lately I’ve been fond of playing games. Maybe the summer craze is getting to me but I played more game time for the past 3 months than when I did the whole year last year! I can’t say its bad. Im enjoying it. But I hope not too much coz I still do have work to do.

Work…work, work…*sigh*…everybody grows tired of work eventually. No matter how responsible and hard-working a person is…there just comes a time that you grow tired of it. Know what I mean?

Maybe that’s what so good about games for me. Lets me somehow forget for a while. Lets me relax and unwind. Personally, I don’t even know why people resort to alcohol and drugs when you can just play. LOL! Nwei gotta get some sleep. Seriously…its almost 5am! *Yaaaaaaaaaawn* Nyt folks! (oops…its almost morning…oh well…) ^^