What If?
Important! Please read! –>> (Ei guys…found this on the internet…decided to post it on my blog…a good read! –Jonas)
We’re all familiar with the phrase, "what if?". As humans here on Earth, we’ve been faced with countless choices. We have freewill over our decisions. It’s all up to us to choose. But in every decision we make, there’s always ‘those choices’ we didnt take. So sometimes, when we look back, we ask…"what if I chose the other?". That’s one of the questions that may be hard to answer. This post has no point or any reason to prove. This is just a rambling. A simple sharing of a "what if" in my past.
Back in the days when I was still studying, I met someone. Someone that would eventually make a mark. Someone that would eventually make something happen that I would have to decide in a "what if" situation. But that’s getting ahead of the story…^__^
For sake of formality, let’s give her a name. Her name would be Angela. We first knew each other quite in an unusual way. Its ironic because I never thought that ‘unusual’ would be common with our relationship. A common friend introduced us to each other because Angela was having trouble with her PC and I was the known PC geek in my circle of friends at school back then. We hit if off almost immediately notwithstanding the fact that we hadn’t even met each other yet. She had the cutest voice that I ever heard from someone I’m talking over the fone. She’s got a great sense of humor and almost has everything to say about anything we talk about. In other words, we had fun while we talked. From then on, the talks somewhat became a regular thing between us. I could still remember the countless nights we would talk nonstop and be forced to only when we noticed that the sun was comin up.
A story like this won’t continue on without any sudden turn of events. There was. Fate decided to give a little twist to our simple and fun-driven lives. Angela transferred to my school. It was a little weird for me because I was so used to talkin to her over the fone that I couldn’t imagine that I would be seeing her physically…ever. Anyway, although we go to the same school now doesn’t mean that we immediately saw each other. It could have been a pretty good story by now. A little "and they lived happily ever after" and it would have been a good ending. Alas, it wasn’t supposed to be a good one. You see, Angela had a steady boyfriend. I had a steady girlfriend. So, it was kind of complicated for me. Why complicated? Lemme explain…
Over the months that we’ve been talkin, there was an unwritten development of our relationship. U know…from casual friends to close friends. Not casual anymore because we’ve been comfortable talkin about anything from trivial to not so serious to dead serious topics. But not too close either to officially make it a ‘romantic’ relationship. Yes we were able to finally meet but not on a regular basis (at least she wasn’t a stranger on campus). And yes…she was openly talkin to me about her relationship with her bf then. All the happy moments (which was rare) and the problems they encounter (our topic almost every other night). One might say that they are treading on thin ice…or simply put, their relationship was crumbling. I could have played the role of the bestfriend…giving advice and such. Unfortunately, my relationship with my gf back then wasn’t really that good either. We found solice thru each other, Angela and I. A neutral ground where we can go to and openly discuss things that were on our minds.
At last, the inevitable happened. She broke up with now her x-bf. She was a wreck. She had noone to turn to that would understand her, not even her family. She had only me…and there was I, not really good at giving comforting words, but still tried my best to make her smile and forget. That was during those times that it suddenly hit me, without any warning whatsoever. I cared for her. I cared for her more than a friend or bestfriend cared. It wasn’t clear if it was love. Love is a strong word. I just knew that something in me changed about the way I see her then. It was as if silently pledging that somehow, I won’t let her feel that kind of sadness anymore for as long as I was in her life. Call me conceited but I think she also needed me in her life. What convinced me that my assumption wasn’t completely false were the looks Im getting from her. And the changes on the way she talks to me. Its as if she’s afraid that I, too, would suddenly disappear. I would have to constantly assure her that Im not going to leave her, just to make her smile and not worry anymore.
It was the perfect situation for any guy! Just play the hero or a knight in shining armor, things would just fit to the right places to establish a romantic relationship with her. It could have been simple, even for me. But it was complicated. You see, I still had a gf. That was the icing of the cake. That was the "what if" situation. I had two choices. A…i could dump my cheating gf and court Angela. Or B…I could work things out with my gf and continue being the "friend" to our heroine. I chose the latter. When I assessed myself, it all came down to the conclusion that I still loved my gf. What I felt for Angela was simply pity and care. It wouldn’t be a good foundation of a positive relationship. Or so I thought back then.
Ironically, a month after I made that decision, my gf dumped me for another guy (typical). While Angela found someone else. We still remain good friends up to this day but sometimes I can’t help thinking…."what if?" ^__^
