…a blog on random thoughts and ideas… ^__^

Since I got that call last friday, I’ve been confused. It’s quite tempting. Money that is. Heck, I’m getting ahead of myself. You see last week (friday) as I was getting ready for work my phone rang. I thought "oooh! an unrecorded number! maybe one of my lost phone book entry trying to see if im still alive! (hehehe…)". Or so I thought. It was a girl on the other line and immediately after I said my hello she started babbling incoherently like this…"Hi! Is this Mr. Jonas Dya…Dami…Jamisola? This is…umm…ah…Kris…Kristine Reyes from MDI…(blah blah)". I didn’t make out the rest since I just got out of the shower and she already lost me when she misprounounced my surname. Hahaha! So I made her repeat all of that and found out she called if I would be interested in joining their company, MDI (something). You see, I get alot of these phone calls asking me if I’m interested to apply for an opening in their company. But its all the same. I submit my resume. They schedule me for an interview. Wait it out with 15 or more applicants like me and hope for the best that they pick me. I’m sick of that! I’m a businessman now…it’s either they offer me something serious or I won’t waste my time with that rank and file protocol.

So now you’re maybe asking what made that phone call I just received different. Well it was kind of different. First of all she didn’t ask me to APPLY for the position. She asked me if I’m interested to TAKE the position. She even offered to raise my current salary with a much BETTER and HIGHER one if only I was willing to work for them. Now that was different! And here’s the icing to top it off…she asked me if I could decide within the day. Whoa, whoa there girl! Hehehe…it was too good to be true. I wanna know the catch so I asked THE question…"what’s the open position?". The answer was…."C++ programmer". Ooooooh! I decided to quit programming 2 years ago. It never was a good experience for me. And it never felt rewarding. I was about to decline the offer but then I remembered how I needed some extra cash…how I could help make ends meet with the ridiculous amount she’s offering me. So I just said that I’ll email my updated resume and let’s talk again next week.

When I think about my business, I dont want to think about working as a corporate dog again. On the other hand, when I think about how I could alleviate more my family financial woes….the things I could finally buy (dream car anyone?)….or even how the shop could finally forget worrying on how to pay all those bills, I say to myself that another era of mental drain is not so bad. Sigh.

I wonder why I’m more inclined to write a blog item during the wee hours of the morning. It’s like I have a lot of things that I want to express through writing…thoughts that have been bottled up during the busy hours of the afternoon. I don’t really understand it myself but what I can tell is that I like the silence. Complete silence. When everyone around is asleep, I won’t be bothered by trivial text messages…weird phone calls…immature mini-fights…annoying favors…boring errands…or freak customers. Maybe that’s why i like to write during these times…I’m free to wander in my own world without interruption.

Speaking of which, since I graduated from college…the times that I can indulge myself in meditation/recollection has been abruptly cut. I never had the privelege of a "graduate vacation" since I had already start working right after my commencement exercises. And since then my time mostly has been eaten up by work, family errands, time with my partner, eating, and sleeping. If not for the times that my body screams for stress-relieving activities…I may have had gone completely mad.

That’s why now that I suddenly had the opportunity to recollect/meditate on what has happened, happening, what will happen in my life…I feel like a stranger to my own world. It’s like I have to go back to square one in the process of knowing myself. And its both frustrating and exciting. Frustrating because I can honestly say that I don’t know the "me" now. It’s like I’m seeing myself in a 3rd person’s view and asking the question…"who is this guy?". What have I been doing from the time I first stepped into the "real world" until now? Who have I become? And that’s the exciting part of it. To rediscover myself once again and see what I have accomplished so far and what I can accomplish later on. Sigh.

Warning guys…this is a rant…read at your own risk. ^__^

I’ve been thinking alot of things lately. Maybe its due to the fact that I have a lot more free time for myself since its summer vacation and customers are just ‘trickling’ during this season. I’ve been sighing alot more often now. Sheesh.

I think it started when I learned that a very good friend of mine is having the crisis of her lifetime. I won’t dwell on the details but the bottomline is…I wasn’t able to do anything during the time she told me all about it. I was just there…struck and looking dumb. It’s not everyday that you hear about a baby, marriage, miscarriage, and aborted marriage all happening in one month’s time. All of it was so new to me that it felt like my system just shut down. What’s a person like me to do? All I had to offer was a listening ear and hope for the best. Sigh.

Then there was an offer…a new career opportunity. I was told it pays a lot. Benefits are great. All I had to do was sign a contract that binds me to that company for two years. I was tempted…really tempted. I could do a lot of things or buy a lot of things from that salary. But I thought of my business. I put a lot of effort on it, it just started, I seriously sweat blood for it. And I’m positive I’ll do better next school year. I just can’t walk away. I want to prove that virtual-on could be the best computer shop on that area. I want to know how far I can take it if I do my very best this next school year. So I declined the offer. I really hope I made a good decision. Well, I still feel I made the right decision. It’s a good thing, right? Sigh.

And then there’s the relationship issues. I mean…its kinda normal to have little fights inside a romantic relationship. Its also kinda cute especially on your first few months together. But frankly speaking, when you’ve been having these little fights for years…its not so cute anymore. Its more of annoying. And most of the time I ask the questions…"when will it end? when will a true mature relationship start?" Can’t a person experience it before marriage? Are boyfriend/girlfriend relationships doomed to have immature fights forever? I seriously wish I could experience a mature, trusting, and meaningful relationship without the mini-fights before marriage. I think every person deserves that. Sigh.

Well thats it for my rant! I have to rest and start early tomorrow. Oops…its already 1:12am. So much for a gudnyt’s rest. I can still sleep for around 4hours I think. Sigh.