Late Night Moment
I wonder why I’m more inclined to write a blog item during the wee hours of the morning. It’s like I have a lot of things that I want to express through writing…thoughts that have been bottled up during the busy hours of the afternoon. I don’t really understand it myself but what I can tell is that I like the silence. Complete silence. When everyone around is asleep, I won’t be bothered by trivial text messages…weird phone calls…immature mini-fights…annoying favors…boring errands…or freak customers. Maybe that’s why i like to write during these times…I’m free to wander in my own world without interruption.
Speaking of which, since I graduated from college…the times that I can indulge myself in meditation/recollection has been abruptly cut. I never had the privelege of a "graduate vacation" since I had already start working right after my commencement exercises. And since then my time mostly has been eaten up by work, family errands, time with my partner, eating, and sleeping. If not for the times that my body screams for stress-relieving activities…I may have had gone completely mad.
That’s why now that I suddenly had the opportunity to recollect/meditate on what has happened, happening, what will happen in my life…I feel like a stranger to my own world. It’s like I have to go back to square one in the process of knowing myself. And its both frustrating and exciting. Frustrating because I can honestly say that I don’t know the "me" now. It’s like I’m seeing myself in a 3rd person’s view and asking the question…"who is this guy?". What have I been doing from the time I first stepped into the "real world" until now? Who have I become? And that’s the exciting part of it. To rediscover myself once again and see what I have accomplished so far and what I can accomplish later on. Sigh.
