…a blog on random thoughts and ideas… ^__^

Since I got that call last friday, I’ve been confused. It’s quite tempting. Money that is. Heck, I’m getting ahead of myself. You see last week (friday) as I was getting ready for work my phone rang. I thought "oooh! an unrecorded number! maybe one of my lost phone book entry trying to see if im still alive! (hehehe…)". Or so I thought. It was a girl on the other line and immediately after I said my hello she started babbling incoherently like this…"Hi! Is this Mr. Jonas Dya…Dami…Jamisola? This is…umm…ah…Kris…Kristine Reyes from MDI…(blah blah)". I didn’t make out the rest since I just got out of the shower and she already lost me when she misprounounced my surname. Hahaha! So I made her repeat all of that and found out she called if I would be interested in joining their company, MDI (something). You see, I get alot of these phone calls asking me if I’m interested to apply for an opening in their company. But its all the same. I submit my resume. They schedule me for an interview. Wait it out with 15 or more applicants like me and hope for the best that they pick me. I’m sick of that! I’m a businessman now…it’s either they offer me something serious or I won’t waste my time with that rank and file protocol.

So now you’re maybe asking what made that phone call I just received different. Well it was kind of different. First of all she didn’t ask me to APPLY for the position. She asked me if I’m interested to TAKE the position. She even offered to raise my current salary with a much BETTER and HIGHER one if only I was willing to work for them. Now that was different! And here’s the icing to top it off…she asked me if I could decide within the day. Whoa, whoa there girl! Hehehe…it was too good to be true. I wanna know the catch so I asked THE question…"what’s the open position?". The answer was…."C++ programmer". Ooooooh! I decided to quit programming 2 years ago. It never was a good experience for me. And it never felt rewarding. I was about to decline the offer but then I remembered how I needed some extra cash…how I could help make ends meet with the ridiculous amount she’s offering me. So I just said that I’ll email my updated resume and let’s talk again next week.

When I think about my business, I dont want to think about working as a corporate dog again. On the other hand, when I think about how I could alleviate more my family financial woes….the things I could finally buy (dream car anyone?)….or even how the shop could finally forget worrying on how to pay all those bills, I say to myself that another era of mental drain is not so bad. Sigh.

I wonder why I’m more inclined to write a blog item during the wee hours of the morning. It’s like I have a lot of things that I want to express through writing…thoughts that have been bottled up during the busy hours of the afternoon. I don’t really understand it myself but what I can tell is that I like the silence. Complete silence. When everyone around is asleep, I won’t be bothered by trivial text messages…weird phone calls…immature mini-fights…annoying favors…boring errands…or freak customers. Maybe that’s why i like to write during these times…I’m free to wander in my own world without interruption.

Speaking of which, since I graduated from college…the times that I can indulge myself in meditation/recollection has been abruptly cut. I never had the privelege of a "graduate vacation" since I had already start working right after my commencement exercises. And since then my time mostly has been eaten up by work, family errands, time with my partner, eating, and sleeping. If not for the times that my body screams for stress-relieving activities…I may have had gone completely mad.

That’s why now that I suddenly had the opportunity to recollect/meditate on what has happened, happening, what will happen in my life…I feel like a stranger to my own world. It’s like I have to go back to square one in the process of knowing myself. And its both frustrating and exciting. Frustrating because I can honestly say that I don’t know the "me" now. It’s like I’m seeing myself in a 3rd person’s view and asking the question…"who is this guy?". What have I been doing from the time I first stepped into the "real world" until now? Who have I become? And that’s the exciting part of it. To rediscover myself once again and see what I have accomplished so far and what I can accomplish later on. Sigh.

Warning guys…this is a rant…read at your own risk. ^__^

I’ve been thinking alot of things lately. Maybe its due to the fact that I have a lot more free time for myself since its summer vacation and customers are just ‘trickling’ during this season. I’ve been sighing alot more often now. Sheesh.

I think it started when I learned that a very good friend of mine is having the crisis of her lifetime. I won’t dwell on the details but the bottomline is…I wasn’t able to do anything during the time she told me all about it. I was just there…struck and looking dumb. It’s not everyday that you hear about a baby, marriage, miscarriage, and aborted marriage all happening in one month’s time. All of it was so new to me that it felt like my system just shut down. What’s a person like me to do? All I had to offer was a listening ear and hope for the best. Sigh.

Then there was an offer…a new career opportunity. I was told it pays a lot. Benefits are great. All I had to do was sign a contract that binds me to that company for two years. I was tempted…really tempted. I could do a lot of things or buy a lot of things from that salary. But I thought of my business. I put a lot of effort on it, it just started, I seriously sweat blood for it. And I’m positive I’ll do better next school year. I just can’t walk away. I want to prove that virtual-on could be the best computer shop on that area. I want to know how far I can take it if I do my very best this next school year. So I declined the offer. I really hope I made a good decision. Well, I still feel I made the right decision. It’s a good thing, right? Sigh.

And then there’s the relationship issues. I mean…its kinda normal to have little fights inside a romantic relationship. Its also kinda cute especially on your first few months together. But frankly speaking, when you’ve been having these little fights for years…its not so cute anymore. Its more of annoying. And most of the time I ask the questions…"when will it end? when will a true mature relationship start?" Can’t a person experience it before marriage? Are boyfriend/girlfriend relationships doomed to have immature fights forever? I seriously wish I could experience a mature, trusting, and meaningful relationship without the mini-fights before marriage. I think every person deserves that. Sigh.

Well thats it for my rant! I have to rest and start early tomorrow. Oops…its already 1:12am. So much for a gudnyt’s rest. I can still sleep for around 4hours I think. Sigh.

Lately, I’ve seen more people post surveys on Friendster’s bulletin board. It’s kinda cute and meaningless…but it defines freedom of speech. ^__^

Nwei, for those survey freaks…I’ve got a good one here…try and answer this one. Just follow the link below. Hehe…^__^

http://www.crush007.com/v2/predict/1172740224cta

I’m so pumped up to play the game again. That’s it! I said it! Funny how I easily changed my mind about retiring. Lolz! Maybe its because of how frustrated I am with the people around me…or maybe its because SEGA officially announced the release of Initial D Arcade Stage Ver 4!!! So no time to laminate the cards! I say its time to polish up my skills again! Woohoo!

Paging Mr. Cuevas! Paging Mr. Cuevas! Bka gusto mo po sumali sa ka-adikan ko! Hehe…tama na yang frustration sa gov’t! Ilaro mo na lang yang frustration! Hehehe…^__^

Rak en roll mga pards! Got my very own W850i phone! Took me months to finally get me another phone (I lost my phone last August 2006…damn you thieves!). Anyway…this phone rocks! And I think its an understatement. ^__^

Its got a 2MP camera…sounds that blows away women’s clothes…and a 1GB memory included in the package! The last one got my decisive nod after browsing thru countless phone options. It’s too damn irresistible. Lolz! ^o^

Well, that’s that! I walked like someone who won the lottery. Heads up and smiling all the way home. The very first GOOD thing that happened to me this 2007. I’ll remember this day for the rest of the year….hehehe…

P.S. I hate the male names "Cris", "Chris", or "Kris" for unknown reasons. I just hate them. That’s just a random rant hehe.

Whoa! What a weird week! So much happened that I don’t know where to start! Lolz! ^__^

I say its weird coz it had a mix of ups and downs. I won’t focus on the "downs" since they only make me depressed. Let’s just say that they’re my life’s road bumps…unavoidable yet can be overcome.

I’ll just elaborate on the "ups". I can’t say its positive…the correct word would be…hmm…amusing. There’s this two college girls that recently made my shop their favorite hangout. They really standout compared to the other customers. Let’s just say they define the meaning of "fun". It’s one thing that they made my place a photo shoot studio…but what really amuses me most is the way they talk to us. Feeling close? Hahahaha! I don’t even know their names. ^__^ Well it’s good that we have additional regulars, I just hope that their false sense of "closeness" won’t result to them asking us discounts or anything. Lolz! ^o^

A weird thing also happened just yesterday. There was a 5-second "brownout". Then our server program won’t start! Crap! Good thing it was saturday. Only a few people were left that time so I just decided to give the remaining customers an additional 30mins free for the inconvenience and closed up shop for the day to fix the problem. Sigh. I reaaallly should consider buying a UPS for my server. Hehe.

Oh! Almost forgot. I was told last friday that there would be an Initial D Tournament to be held on MOA yesterday. It was South Metro VS North Metro. The South group tried recruiting me (and borg) onto the tournament coz they thought we would be a big help. I was flattered…really! Its just that I didn’t think we would be of much help. We’ve been out of practice and just like I said on my previous post….I drive like crap. Hahaha! But to be polite since they went off their way to invite us, I said we’ll try to be there. If not as drivers…as supporters. Hehe. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to go since I had an emergency trip to make. Sigh. I wished I could have gone, I missed being behind that wheel of the Initial D machine. Sigh. Triple sigh.

Anyway, these were all just a bunch of rants…stories…some of them suspicious to believe. Hehe. I just needed a way to vent out these thoughts. It’s not healthy to talk to yourself all the time. Especially with other people around. They give me these weird looks. They might be thinking that I’m crazy! Hahahaha!

But they might be right…^__^

I should have known something was wrong. Although a small voice had been telling me that there was something amiss…I refused to listen. Hoping that everything is okay. A new bright blue sky will open up tomorrow. Guess I’m wrong. Here’s my horoscope for today: (I read it tonight to verify its claim)

Today a small sacrifice on your part might be called for. Letting
something leave your life so you can make room for something to come in
to your life is a difficult choice to make — after all, how can you be
certain that what is coming will be better than what is leaving? Rely
on your faith in the people involved, and trust that they know what is
best in this situation. If all else fails, just remember that moving
forward is better than standing still.

I guess the fortune-teller hit the mark today. A total bull’s eye. And he’s also right…somehow I have to move on. Keep on believing for another bright new day. I’m thankful I have friends I could talk to when things aren’t going well. Here’s what I have to say for the source of my depression:

"We’ve known each other a long time. Good and bad times had come and gone. We’ve faced each challenge bravely. And I’ve kept the good memories in my heart. I know I promised that I’ll always look after you and always be there wherever you may be. But for this particular instance, you’ve chosen a path which I cannot follow. Someday our paths will cross again and I hope when that day comes it will be a bright and beautiful day. So until then, I bid my farewell and always take care, my friend."

Start of rant.

Can someone who works hard defeat a person who has natural talents?

Can someone really touch heaven by going through hell?

I don’t know. But I sure hope so.

End of rant.

I played Initial D today. After 4 months of forced abstinence, I played it again. Funny how just 4 months could do to my driving. To make it plain and simple, I sucked. If I were one of the "elite" drivers last August 2006…I deteriorated to the point that 4th string drivers could beat me now.

Fortunately, there was noone there to witness how horrifying my driving abilities had become. I even felt pity for myself. But then again, after 10 tokens, I told myself…it’s just a game. There’s no point in sticking to something that won’t reward you in any way. I’ve already made a name for myself in that realm. To prove it, just bring up my nickname "Z1" to any Initial D player…most probably 7 out of 10 people that you asked knows me. That was my objective when I started playing it, to prove that I’m good enough to compete with the best…so sabi nga nila "when you’ve reached the top, there’s no where else to go but down…". So I’ve been thinking of "retiring" for good, frame my Initial D cards and hang them on a wall in my room. ^__^

But then again, a new version of Initial D will come out on March 2007…well, only time will tell…..