…a blog on random thoughts and ideas… ^__^

its really hard. i’ve focused myself so much to my work that it was too late to realize that so many things in my life didn’t have anything in some sort of closure. now that i had ample time to clean again, memories came flooding back like a dam burst. it became hard to look back. i just realized how foolish i am to think that everything is alright. *sigh*

i know its not too late. but its kinda scary. u dont even know if the people involved even want closure. *mild chuckle* anyway, have to be man enough to face this. or i’ll probably regret it someday. have to stop being a coward. (i should have made that as a new year’s resolution. lol)

i applied for a job at some local gaming company. i dunno why i feel weird about it. i do need to find a job, its just that… hmm… feels different. well, nwei if something extraordinary happens, im sure to update this blog. ^__^

im just wondering if some of you guys felt as if things are passing you by? because i am wondering just that right now. why? here are some reasons:

1. close relatives passed away

2. friends (my age) getting married and having children

3. siblings growing up and building their own future

then here’s me, stuck in the same old place. its somewhat frustrating. i gotta get outta this loop somehow…

A few years back I posted an incident involving me and a car accident. It was one of those moments I just want to forget. I said to myself that it would never happen again.

Fast forward to this year, I just happened again tonight while I was driving home from my shop. Damn. It was all my fault though. *Sigh* Human error, I would call it. Luckily, the damage is minor. I just hope they won’t overprice the repairs.

My last word? O-M-G!

Why is it that what we fear happens more often than what we want? Irony is life’s way of teasing. And its quite unfair.

Why do I disappoint the people I want to support?

Why do I end up with problems I dont fathom?

Why do I get stuck with people who pull me down?

Why do I fail when I work freakin hard?

Why do I hurt the one’s I love?

Why am I so confused?

Why can’t I achieve peace?

So many why’s… the greatest irony of it all is that my life is so complicated for someone who simply wants to get by and enjoy life.

But there’s one thing I can spite life for, no matter how it tries to make it hard for me… my priority is my family. So I shout to all of the things in my life that makes my lfe so goddamn hard… KAYA KO PA! CGE SAKTAN NYO LANG AKO! PAHIRAPAN NYO LANG AKO! KAYA KO YAN! I can turn my back to ANYTHING or ANYONE.

I’ll endure anything if its for my family. Remember that my so-called ‘life’. Pwe!